Are you curious about the wonders down under that is the anal pleasure zone? You are not alone. Although anal stimulation and pleasure have been a topic surrounded by stigmas that reinforce myths that anal play is always messy or painful, only for gay men, or a loophole for saving yourself, those are simply not true, and it’s high time to banish them.
First off, did you know there are thousands of nerves around and inside the anus? For my fellow ladies, introducing anal penetration can help stimulate the tissue connected to the G-spot through the erectile walls. I’m talking about thousands of more nerves of possible orgasm here. And for my friends with penises, if you haven’t heard of your P-spot or prostate then get acquainted. The prostate lives about two inches inside your rectum and is considered a highly sensitive erogenous zone. We are talking about serious pleasure people! For everyone!
Whether you are a seasoned butt stuff lover or a mere beginner here are my favorite tricks to introduce anal play in the bedroom.
Do Your Research
If this is your first rodeo, putting time and effort into researching what interests you in exploring external or internal anal stimulation will help you feel more comfortable with this new zone. The more you know the more you’ll be able to master this fun territory. So study up, starting with Why Women Should Have Anal Sex.
Try out solo anal masturbation on your own. To negate rushing into an uncomfortable situation with a partner, try feeling your own ass out for yourself. Start with fingers. See what feels good when you are touching other parts of your body and incorporate anal masturbation into your normal routine. This process does not need to be mastered overnight. Take your time and begin just feeling around your anus, no need to rush into this one. Tip: try exploring in the bath. The water helps relax you and it alleviates any fear of making a mess.
Talk About Anal Play With Your Partner!
If you are in a relationship with someone and want to start exploring anal pleasure then communicating how you are feeling is a crucial step. No amounts of lube and foreplay will help you prepare more than being on the same page as your partner for anal. Communication does not stop here either, constant check in’s about what is working and what just simply isn’t will help you from hurting yourself in the process.
Butt plugs are going to be your best friend if you want to ease into full anal penetration with a penis. It’s great to use a product to “prep” and get yourself wider and wider at least until you reach the girth of your partner. Good thing there are toys for everyone no matter their experience level. Some of my favorites for beginners are:
Mini Candy Rimmer
If you are looking for a good way to gradually size up, the Mini Candy Rimmer from TooTimid comes in three sizes. It is made from hypoallergenic silicone and works the absolute best with a premium water-based lube.
This glass dildo from Unbound Babes is known for its versatility, the beaded side allows you to explore slow and steadily and the sleeker side can be used for vaginal penetration as well. The glass material also welcomes temperature play, which can help ease into a more comfortable anal experience. You can dip it in warm water or put it in the fridge when trying out new techniques for ultimate pleasure.
The Pure Wand from njoy is an all-time favorite because the C-curve helps hit the G or P Spot. The stainless steel feels smoother and causes less friction, minimizing the likelihood of micro-fissures. You can use one end for vaginal and one end for anal but make sure you never go anal to vag without cleaning in between. Tip: use a condom if you want to go back and forth without having to go clean.
Lube Up! I Repeat: LUBE UP!
A dime size of lube will not cut it. To negate anal fissures or tearing and all-around uncomfy-ness, lube is a necessity for anal play. It’s also definitely not a one-and-done application, so continually apply lube throughout your sexual activities. The more the better and the safer. Lube your fingers, your toys, the entrance to your anus, and if you are trying anal penetration with a penis, definitely make sure that is lubed up too.
If it doesn’t work the first time, do not get deterred. When it comes to anal play, slow and steady truly wins this race. Explore it at different times in foreplay or intercourse. This is really important. You want to make sure you are very relaxed so the more comfortable, and horny you are, the easier it will be to really get into anal play. And one more thing to remember: clitoral stimulation is anal stimulation’s best friend (hint: remember all those nerves I was talking about earlier?). Why not add some more?!
Anal play may just not be for you — and that is perfectly OK. Do what makes you feel best. Whether you are a proud butt-stuff lover or simply curious and getting started, these steps should be your go-to.
About The Author
A senior in William & Mary and St Andrews’ joint degree program for English, Maud Purinton (@maudpurinton on Instagram) has always been passionate about initiating conversations around sexual destigmatization and female sex-positivity. Maud is an avid skier and mixed media artist and looks forward to pursuing a career in fashion and beauty PR after she graduates.